


Remember

by Buggycas



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Serious Sirius (Let me have my ONE pun), Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-05 20:25:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11020944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buggycas/pseuds/Buggycas
Summary: An exploration of Sirius's mindset between Azkaban and finding Pettigrew at the Whomping Willow in Prisoner of Azkaban. No pairings, just reflections.





	Remember

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, beyond a few books that are currently nests for field mice (I hate living next to a field), and I do not own Disturbed, no matter HOW many fantasies I have about David being mine >.>  
> AN: I was recently reminded that I have a crap ton of old one-shots on this computer since this account is fairly new I figured I'd post them. These are mostly unbetaed, but I did put them through Grammarly.

_Sensation Washes over me, I can't describe it; pain I felt so long ago, I don't remember._  
_Tear a hole so I can see, My Devastation; Feelings from so long ago, I don't remember._

If I ever find that Rat, I’m not going to kill him. Death would be too good for that traitor. I’m Human right now, I hate being human, the Dementors can see me, but there’s a visitor, and he can’t see me as an animagus. He has a paper, and a picture, something on the Weasley’s winning a trip to Egypt, how nice for them. I don’t even care until I see the Rat on the youngest boy’s shoulder. It’s him. Wormtail. The boy’s pet Rat is Wormtail. That means he’s at Hogwarts, where James’ son should be.

A feeling I haven’t felt in forever, it seems to start to run through me, Hot, not the cold fear that every dementor forces on you. It’s so hot it burns, burns like something I haven’t felt in so long, I don’t even remember it.

 _holding on to let them know; what's given to me, given to me._  
_To Hide behind, the Mask this time; and try to believe._

I have to plan an escape. He’s at Hogwarts, and I need to find him, to free myself. I can make my escape as a dog, Padfoot can swim to shore, but I need to do it when there are no wizards around. I don’t know if I can work it, but I have to try. As Padfoot, I can escape.

 _Blind your Eyes to What you See, You can't Embrace it; Leave it well enough alone, and don’t remember._  
_Cut your Pride and watch it bleed, you can't Deny it; Pain you Know you can’t ignore, I don't remember_

The first thing I do when I escape is head towards London. The most amazing thing happens, I see him. James… No… Harry, it must be Harry, James’ son. Prong’s boy looks just like him, and I can’t help but go near.

He’s so scared of me. Why is he so scared of me? I try to look kinder, but when he pulls his wand, the knight bus pulls up, and Harry gets on board.

As he leaves I remember something, something so long ago forgotten. “Bloody Hell Padfoot. Don’t sneak up on me like that! You look like a bloody Grimm in the dark!” James… he was scared of me then, but it made me laugh, I liked the idea of looking like a Grimm back then.

 _holding on to let them know; what's given to me, given to me._  
_To Hide behind, the Mask this time; and try to believe._

 _If I can; remember; to know this will conquer me._  
_If I can; just Walk alone; Try to Escape; Into Me._

I can’t change form now that I’m out, after seeing Harry. He looks so much like James. I know they’re after me. They still think I killed James and Lily. I could NEVER hurt James or Lily, it was Wormtail, He’s the one that destroyed the best friend I ever had.

I need to remember how to get to the school. I can’t follow the train. It’s too fast, and I can’t be seen. James was right, I look too much like a Grimm, Wizards are frightened of me, and Muggles think I’m a mangy stray. I have to eat out of the garbage on my way to Scotland, but to be honest, it’s better than the gruel they served at Azkaban.

 _(Whispered)_  
_Sensation Washes over me, I can't describe it; pain I felt so long ago, I don't remember._

When I finally got to the school, I smelled something extremely odd. He was Here… Remus. Moony. The other of the group. The reason we all became what we were. He’s at Hogwarts again. Is he a teacher? What was he good at in school? It’s so hard to remember what happened before Pettigrew destroyed us all.

_I'm Just holding on to let them know; what's given to me, given to me._   
_To Hide behind, the Mask this time; and try to believe._

I had planned to see Remus again, trying to get into the Shrieking Shack through the Whomping Willow, it was a full moon, and Remus would be there when I noticed something. He was here, in the woods. That boy, the Weasley boy has him. I can’t stop myself, I grab him, pull him into my hiding place. If I can get Pettigrew… I can have my revenge for all those years, hurting, almost believing myself what they believed I did. Never again.

 _If I can, remember, to know this will conquer me._  
_If I can, just walk Alone, And Try to Escape, Into Me._  
_Into Me._  
_Into Me._  
_Into Me._

**Author's Note:**

> You know? This could almost be canon. Neat. Usually what I write is as far from Canon as humanly possible, while still staying within the universe. And from here, well, you’ve read the book already.  
> Well… Feedback would be loved. My closing words? This one came out fast, but I like it. I hope you did too.


End file.
